Sam never ceases to crack me up!  A few from today...

Samuel has an imaginary friend by the name of Maxwell.  This is really a first for me...the other kids played with imaginary friends, but it was fleeting...ya know, pouring tea for friends or imaginary play with army guys, etc.  Anyway, you can be sure if something is out of whack or there is blame to be served, Maxwell showed up....

Mom:    "Aaww, Sam...why did you write all over the scissors?"

Sam:     "That wasn't me, it was Maxwell!"

Mom:    "Well, tell Maxwell the next time he writes on anything other than his own paper that you're going to get in trouble...same goes for you!!"

Sam:     Quietly mulling that one over.

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Sam:     "Mom, can I have a cookie?"

Mom:    "After lunch, Sam."

Sam, under his breath:     "Told ya, Maxwell!"

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In Walmart:

Sam:    "Mom, you know what those are?" (making that cupping motion in front of his chest that he so often loves to do...what is it with the male species and breasts anyway??). 

Mom:   "Uhh...yes, Samuel. Do you?"

Sam:    "Yup!  Those are muscles!"

Me, looking surprised:     "Well, sorry Sam...those aren't muscles."

Sam:    "Yes they are!"

Me:      "Nope!  Sorry."

Sam:    "Then what are they?"

Me, rolling my eyes that this conversation is taking place in public....again... : "Those are breasts, Samuel" just above a whisper so as not to draw too much attention.

Sam:    "WHAT?"

Me:      "BREASTS, Samuel!"  Now noticing women trying to hide their laughter.

Sam:    "Naaaw, those are muscles." (among many giggles)

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Ok, that should have been my clue as to the how the rest of the day would flow...he was on a body-parts roll after that!  In the car, I'm listening to James Taylor, Sam's got his own thing going on with...

"I like big butts, and I cannot lie..." 

And once I find the child that taught him that, I will string him up by his shorts and leave him alone in a room with Samuel for two hours!